watch the dark knight...... stellar movie and heath ledgers portrayal of the joker is worth the $8 already....
fucked up the cinema location because i forgot to inform the guys that we change plans... thankfully samuel heckled the people at the ticket counter to change our tickets to a later timing.... thanks dude....
i usually hate paying for movies, but this one was worth it.....
speed racer was worth the $8 too, but only because im a fan boy....
todays psych test was fucked, but no point moping over it.... im going to have a nice shot of burbon in my batman glass to make myself feel better.... playing DJ tiesto's traffic at full blast is helpful too....
days till bangkok: 20
----------------
Now playing: DJ Tiesto - Traffic
via FoxyTunes
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
yawn..... rhymes with lawn......
1st psych exam tmr, and not feeling too stoked on it....
im blogging to kill time while my episode of the office loads, which by the way is really killer.... every study i break involves some episode of the office being watched....
----------------
Now playing: Creedence Clearwater Revival - Have You Ever Seen the Rain?
via FoxyTunes
1st psych exam tmr, and not feeling too stoked on it....
im blogging to kill time while my episode of the office loads, which by the way is really killer.... every study i break involves some episode of the office being watched....
----------------
Now playing: Creedence Clearwater Revival - Have You Ever Seen the Rain?
via FoxyTunes
Saturday, July 19, 2008
saturday was one hell of a drinking session.....
happy 21st birthday abby....
----------------
Now playing: Dirty Vegas - Days Go By (Remix)
via FoxyTunes
happy 21st birthday abby....
----------------
Now playing: Dirty Vegas - Days Go By (Remix)
via FoxyTunes
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
ok biopsych module is horribly fucked... samuel had to sacrifice his quiz today and it was still damn bloody hard....
this song by postal service is really good, the lyrics explain everything that people experience post-breakup, both the dumper and dumpee....
this isant the original video, sound quality on the original was horrible.....
Nothing Better
Postal Service
Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That your're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over...
I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry
So just say how to make it right
And i swear i'll do my best to comply
Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
I feel must interject here you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself
With these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why i have to leave
So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling i love you so...
Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures
I admit that i have made mistakes and i swear
I'll never wrong you again
You've got a lure i can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye
this song by postal service is really good, the lyrics explain everything that people experience post-breakup, both the dumper and dumpee....
this isant the original video, sound quality on the original was horrible.....
Nothing Better
Postal Service
Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That your're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over...
I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry
So just say how to make it right
And i swear i'll do my best to comply
Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
I feel must interject here you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself
With these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why i have to leave
So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling i love you so...
Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures
I admit that i have made mistakes and i swear
I'll never wrong you again
You've got a lure i can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye
Monday, July 07, 2008
Friday, July 04, 2008
drinking at chevrons is always a good idea, so thanks to samuel and jo for booking the chalet....
the poison was as such:
a bottle of rum
1/2 a bottle of absout kurant
1/2 a bottle of tequila (that taste of wood)
1/3 a bottle of martell
shared among 8 people...
the order of craziness went like this:
studying and doing biopsych quiz together
dinner
drinking while playing dice
drinking while playing cards
proclaiming MANPOWER!
having a MANPOWER impostor (samuel)
having jocelyn join MANPOWER!
people deflecting sides while playing cards (MANPOWER vs MANPOWER impostor vs the girls vs the white guy)
allah is with me
singing with samuel
samuel having his underwear torn
throwing sameul upstairs to sleep
drinking straight from the bottle of rum
spin the bottle (i dont want to get into details but it shall live in infamy)
me wrestling with preston, and him kicking my ass
me getting my boxers torn by my brother
trying to sleep
dancing with samuel to mambo music (rick astley)
finishing the tequila with samuel while watching army daze
the migration of people from downstairs to upstairs and vice versa
crashing sometime around 4
waking up with a massive hangover
indeed it was a crazy night.... but super fun... thanks for all the drunken memories....
Sunday, June 29, 2008
im having one of those nights where i dont want to sleep.... the night/morning is really serene, the weather is cool, and looking out the window is pretty much as good as it gets....
bunch of things on my mind....
1) the SIM party.... if we can keep doing events of that caliber, we would be set.... money is good, its something my bro and i love doing and its exciting as hell....
2) what a good day of skating it was today.... you really dont know when good days like these come by and when they do, they remind you why you love skating.... i always wonder if its possible to teach and make skateboarding into a curriculum, like the ppl at sp have done.... its days like these that make me say its not possible to do so.... skateboarding is like a bird, you cant put it in a cage with rules and time lines... some of the best parts of it cant be taught, you just have to go and do it... no one can tell you how fun it is to bomb hills or spend hours working on tricks, you just have to do it for yourself.... skateboarding is not for everyone, some people try it and fine its not their thing... thats perfectly fine, but for the people who do stay on and keep at it, build friendships on it, and share the experience with others, there really isant any way to describe how magical it is....
3) the great presents i got for my birthday from my friends at school.... 2 books, 2 jazz cds and a bottle of martell.... doesnt get much better than that....
4) people in a foreign land i would like to meet some day......
bunch of things on my mind....
1) the SIM party.... if we can keep doing events of that caliber, we would be set.... money is good, its something my bro and i love doing and its exciting as hell....
2) what a good day of skating it was today.... you really dont know when good days like these come by and when they do, they remind you why you love skating.... i always wonder if its possible to teach and make skateboarding into a curriculum, like the ppl at sp have done.... its days like these that make me say its not possible to do so.... skateboarding is like a bird, you cant put it in a cage with rules and time lines... some of the best parts of it cant be taught, you just have to go and do it... no one can tell you how fun it is to bomb hills or spend hours working on tricks, you just have to do it for yourself.... skateboarding is not for everyone, some people try it and fine its not their thing... thats perfectly fine, but for the people who do stay on and keep at it, build friendships on it, and share the experience with others, there really isant any way to describe how magical it is....
3) the great presents i got for my birthday from my friends at school.... 2 books, 2 jazz cds and a bottle of martell.... doesnt get much better than that....
4) people in a foreign land i would like to meet some day......
100 posts....... funny how i used to hate ppl who kept blogs.... now look at me....
one hell of a drinking session at my place last night with the guys.... sometimes it feels good to drink till you black out.....
meeting with the sim ppl to discuss the party.... looks good and fun, but the costing definitely has me concerned..... hope we get the job....
great day of skating with sam 1 and sam 2 today.... at first we thought it was going to be shitty cos it was drizzling and thought the day was going to be full of flat land.... skating some drain cover at a basket ball court, then the nice curbs..... dinner and intimate conversations about politics, singaporean society and world event....
here is where the night got rad.... playing sames of shove variations, and finally playing strip manual competitions.... imagine 3 sweaty guys skating under the void deck in their socks and boxers.... with new era caps....
here are the photos to prove it:
skating today reminds me why ive stuck with it for 6 years.... sometimes it doesnt matter if your skating some shitty spot and it just rained, whats important is that your with good friends and this love for skating has brought you guys together.... at times we can have the best spots but the vibe can suck, so its really the people that make the session so amazing.... even if you dont do anything amazing that day, so what?? i didnt do anything memorable today but i played a longest manual competition game with my friends that ended up with us being naked.... for me that is enough for a good day of skate.... i dont regularly post up pictures unless it was a meaningful event, and this day of skate was one of them....
good day, except for the hang over....
and to all my friends who got me gifts for my birthday, thanks loads....
one hell of a drinking session at my place last night with the guys.... sometimes it feels good to drink till you black out.....
meeting with the sim ppl to discuss the party.... looks good and fun, but the costing definitely has me concerned..... hope we get the job....
great day of skating with sam 1 and sam 2 today.... at first we thought it was going to be shitty cos it was drizzling and thought the day was going to be full of flat land.... skating some drain cover at a basket ball court, then the nice curbs..... dinner and intimate conversations about politics, singaporean society and world event....
here is where the night got rad.... playing sames of shove variations, and finally playing strip manual competitions.... imagine 3 sweaty guys skating under the void deck in their socks and boxers.... with new era caps....
here are the photos to prove it:
skating today reminds me why ive stuck with it for 6 years.... sometimes it doesnt matter if your skating some shitty spot and it just rained, whats important is that your with good friends and this love for skating has brought you guys together.... at times we can have the best spots but the vibe can suck, so its really the people that make the session so amazing.... even if you dont do anything amazing that day, so what?? i didnt do anything memorable today but i played a longest manual competition game with my friends that ended up with us being naked.... for me that is enough for a good day of skate.... i dont regularly post up pictures unless it was a meaningful event, and this day of skate was one of them....
good day, except for the hang over....
and to all my friends who got me gifts for my birthday, thanks loads....
Thursday, June 26, 2008
2 exams atarting in 6 hours time, skate after.....
the bar job for SIM job is getting me so amped and stressed.... well its stuff like this that i quit working in a bar for.....
im hungry and want to eat my delicious pasta.... the key is pasta water, with some butter/grease....
i desperately need to drink... my tank is on empty and im having that horrible sensation you get when you havent had a good drink.....
postal service and magic numbers rock....
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Now playing: The Magic Numbers - Forever Lost
via FoxyTunes
the bar job for SIM job is getting me so amped and stressed.... well its stuff like this that i quit working in a bar for.....
im hungry and want to eat my delicious pasta.... the key is pasta water, with some butter/grease....
i desperately need to drink... my tank is on empty and im having that horrible sensation you get when you havent had a good drink.....
postal service and magic numbers rock....
----------------
Now playing: The Magic Numbers - Forever Lost
via FoxyTunes
Sunday, June 22, 2008
my back is fucked up from skating a jump ramp today, the guys at SP decided to lock up the boxes so sam and i had to skate flat land and do some serious chilling at macs.....
so much stuff i want to film stuff at, ill use next week to try and get some in.....
finals on friday..... the impact of kafka's a report to an academy is not hitting me.....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lassi
read the bit on bhang lassi.... i wish i had some right now....
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Now playing: John Coltrane - Blue Train (Alternate Take)
via FoxyTunes
so much stuff i want to film stuff at, ill use next week to try and get some in.....
finals on friday..... the impact of kafka's a report to an academy is not hitting me.....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lassi
read the bit on bhang lassi.... i wish i had some right now....
----------------
Now playing: John Coltrane - Blue Train (Alternate Take)
via FoxyTunes
Friday, June 20, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
at the request of gabi's i shall talk about the newspaper article i appeared in.... i took the newspaper and was typing it in my room, when i realized i could just link the article from my blog.... i suck at typing....
ok fuck i just realised you have to subscribe to view their articles...... FUCK!!!
ok here we go again:
The Straits Times, 19th June 2008, Front Page
ANderson junior college student kenneth tham scored 2 a's and a b in his a levels and had his heart set on studying psychology.
he was offered a place at the singapore management university but instead chose a private course- the state university of new york at buffalo programme run by the singapore institiurte of management.
the priveate education route meant a quicker, more direct path to realising his dream of becoming a clinical psychologist.
he explained:"i can get a basic degree and masters in 4 years through the private school route. the smu degree would have taken me 4 years, after which i woul have to spend another 1 to 2 years on a masters course.
studying in australia aor the united states would have been too costly for his widowed mother and older sister to afford. 3 years at SIM would cost close to 60k. the additional one-year masters programme would cost another 30k.
the 22 YO is now in his second year after scoring a perfect GPA of 4 in his first year. he hopes to graduate with honours.
ok thats all the article said about me.... sorry for the horrible spelling and grammar, i hate reading off stuff and typing....
and forget abt the photo, i look like hell in it.... probably because i was drinking the night before, and they forgot to inform me about the timings for the photoshoot.....
ok fuck i just realised you have to subscribe to view their articles...... FUCK!!!
ok here we go again:
The Straits Times, 19th June 2008, Front Page
ANderson junior college student kenneth tham scored 2 a's and a b in his a levels and had his heart set on studying psychology.
he was offered a place at the singapore management university but instead chose a private course- the state university of new york at buffalo programme run by the singapore institiurte of management.
the priveate education route meant a quicker, more direct path to realising his dream of becoming a clinical psychologist.
he explained:"i can get a basic degree and masters in 4 years through the private school route. the smu degree would have taken me 4 years, after which i woul have to spend another 1 to 2 years on a masters course.
studying in australia aor the united states would have been too costly for his widowed mother and older sister to afford. 3 years at SIM would cost close to 60k. the additional one-year masters programme would cost another 30k.
the 22 YO is now in his second year after scoring a perfect GPA of 4 in his first year. he hopes to graduate with honours.
ok thats all the article said about me.... sorry for the horrible spelling and grammar, i hate reading off stuff and typing....
and forget abt the photo, i look like hell in it.... probably because i was drinking the night before, and they forgot to inform me about the timings for the photoshoot.....
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
read frank kafka's the metamorphosis.... solid read....
the stranger is amazing too.... pity it is empty and meaningless...
ippt in 3 days time....
When Mr. T was 18-months old he ended World War II. He simply folded his arms, shook his head, and the entire Nazi Armies stopped at once. When Hitler tried to protest Mr T. killed him, took all the country's Gold, and fashioned it into chains for all to see. Sources say that Hitler was the first pitied fool.
sorry i had to put this in....
the stranger is amazing too.... pity it is empty and meaningless...
ippt in 3 days time....
When Mr. T was 18-months old he ended World War II. He simply folded his arms, shook his head, and the entire Nazi Armies stopped at once. When Hitler tried to protest Mr T. killed him, took all the country's Gold, and fashioned it into chains for all to see. Sources say that Hitler was the first pitied fool.
sorry i had to put this in....
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
i thought it would be nice to change the look of my blog.... except for the template and the picture of the duck at the bottom, its all the same....
i have been hungry for 2 days.... steak dinner on Sat with the family, still hungry.... shitty fish and chips today, still hungry....
driving my uncle's nissan for the week, i miss my mom's renault already....
cant find my fucking ipod....
i have been hungry for 2 days.... steak dinner on Sat with the family, still hungry.... shitty fish and chips today, still hungry....
driving my uncle's nissan for the week, i miss my mom's renault already....
cant find my fucking ipod....
Thursday, June 12, 2008
watch, no country for old men if yor looking for an intense movie.... so little dialog but the camera work really tells the story....
ippt was supposed to be this saturday, but got cancelled due to so many nsf's dying during training... so ill be taking it next week, which means an additional week of running....
god thats painful....
ippt was supposed to be this saturday, but got cancelled due to so many nsf's dying during training... so ill be taking it next week, which means an additional week of running....
god thats painful....
Friday, June 06, 2008
decided to take my old emerica ellingtons to skate with today... the sole disintegrated and fell off, so i used massive amounts of duct tape to hold it together but it still didnt skate right....
nollie 5-0's, nose manny shoves, fakie ollie fakie 5-0 and bs 180 nosegrinds.....
filming on sunday, hope it goes well....
nollie 5-0's, nose manny shoves, fakie ollie fakie 5-0 and bs 180 nosegrinds.....
filming on sunday, hope it goes well....
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
front smith, back smith, back tail.... relearning tricks is always good...
bar event this coming saturday, but im missing the martell event on thursday due to examination on friday.... looking to bring back around 40-50 from the party, and hanging around fun people should make for a good time...
started smoking marlboro ultra light, something i laughed at my brother for a while back... but it helps to quit the habit slowly....
philosophy text, dont fail me now....
bar event this coming saturday, but im missing the martell event on thursday due to examination on friday.... looking to bring back around 40-50 from the party, and hanging around fun people should make for a good time...
started smoking marlboro ultra light, something i laughed at my brother for a while back... but it helps to quit the habit slowly....
philosophy text, dont fail me now....
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
ok i cheated today, bought a pack of L&M reds for work and loved every puff i took....
managed to lose the back of my ear stud (4th ive lost) and my ear stud just now running...
philosophy class is wack, just a bunch of assholes who just want to yell out any opinion they have about the text without any substance.... not to sound sanctimonious, but all the talk of religion, god, love and doing good just seemed so pedantic.... and it was ironic that we were reading about socrates and how knowing that you know nothing makes you wise, because all these fucks were trying to act like they knew something....
or maybe it was the lack of nicotine that got me all edgy....
ok but in my defense, that girl in class with the fake american accent was fucked as hell.... just listening to her talk made me feel like i was being coated in a thick layer of slime, so bad was it that i shuddered everytime she rose her hand to give an "opinion" that was supposedly insightful....
on a lighter note, dreamboat annie by heart is a good listen....
managed to lose the back of my ear stud (4th ive lost) and my ear stud just now running...
philosophy class is wack, just a bunch of assholes who just want to yell out any opinion they have about the text without any substance.... not to sound sanctimonious, but all the talk of religion, god, love and doing good just seemed so pedantic.... and it was ironic that we were reading about socrates and how knowing that you know nothing makes you wise, because all these fucks were trying to act like they knew something....
or maybe it was the lack of nicotine that got me all edgy....
ok but in my defense, that girl in class with the fake american accent was fucked as hell.... just listening to her talk made me feel like i was being coated in a thick layer of slime, so bad was it that i shuddered everytime she rose her hand to give an "opinion" that was supposedly insightful....
on a lighter note, dreamboat annie by heart is a good listen....
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
days without smoking: 5
finished assembling a cupboard from ikea with mom....
its probably been said a million times, but all hail cardiel.... that dude is seriously inspiring and the next time you feel like giving up skating, look at john cardiel, and make sure you keep skating for people like him....
finished assembling a cupboard from ikea with mom....
its probably been said a million times, but all hail cardiel.... that dude is seriously inspiring and the next time you feel like giving up skating, look at john cardiel, and make sure you keep skating for people like him....
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Friday, May 09, 2008
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
almost a week in and my ankle is still fucked, guess its not an ordinary sprain.... might be a slight fracture or crack.... xrays on tuesdays will tell....
been keeping busy planning for shalyns bartening event, which has really reignited my love for bartending.... it is my dream to start a bartending-catering business with my brother like we discussed last year....
ive strangely been more psyched on skating than i have been in the past.... having it taken away from me has made me realise how much it means to me, and how i want to keep it a part of my life.... hell i was even thinking about taking up skate photography or filming while recovering just to be able to be part of skateboarding...
tricks to work on when i start skateboarding again:
back tails (as always)
back smiths (thanks to fully flared)
fs 360s (i had of dream of doing them knee high the other night)
lien to tails reverts on minis (the thought came while smoking)
back lips (was trying them then the injury)
kickflips (hey a busted ankle might do good things)
in closing, go watch all 16 episodes of cardiel epicly later'd.... so fucking inspirational.... in a nut shell, john cardiel broken his back in a freak accident and was told by doctors he would never walk again.... through his positive outlook on life, he was able to show up the doctors and is returning to his love, skateboarding....
www.vbs.tv
been keeping busy planning for shalyns bartening event, which has really reignited my love for bartending.... it is my dream to start a bartending-catering business with my brother like we discussed last year....
ive strangely been more psyched on skating than i have been in the past.... having it taken away from me has made me realise how much it means to me, and how i want to keep it a part of my life.... hell i was even thinking about taking up skate photography or filming while recovering just to be able to be part of skateboarding...
tricks to work on when i start skateboarding again:
back tails (as always)
back smiths (thanks to fully flared)
fs 360s (i had of dream of doing them knee high the other night)
lien to tails reverts on minis (the thought came while smoking)
back lips (was trying them then the injury)
kickflips (hey a busted ankle might do good things)
in closing, go watch all 16 episodes of cardiel epicly later'd.... so fucking inspirational.... in a nut shell, john cardiel broken his back in a freak accident and was told by doctors he would never walk again.... through his positive outlook on life, he was able to show up the doctors and is returning to his love, skateboarding....
www.vbs.tv
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
ok so heres the plan for 20th march skating....
sam come pick me up at my place at 11, we go and get alvin and jeff..
warm up at jerrelds stage
kovan, stairs and see what else
bedok, hopefully we can find a low rail...
then work and dinner and whatever...
bring camera, extra board i you think youll break one....
sam come pick me up at my place at 11, we go and get alvin and jeff..
warm up at jerrelds stage
kovan, stairs and see what else
bedok, hopefully we can find a low rail...
then work and dinner and whatever...
bring camera, extra board i you think youll break one....
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Monday, December 31, 2007
2007 in retrospect
-went from being employed to unemployed
-worked as a waiter and eventually a bartender
-drank way too much, but on the upside it was good booze
-made too many "mistakes"
-almost fell in love, then realised that it was not going to work out
-went back to school for 2 sems, scored well for both of them
-met some cool and some not-so cool ppl at school, drank with the cool ones, got dissed by the not-so cool ones
-sprained ankle attempting my first handrail, which put me on the injured list for a long time
-my big brothers "incident"
-introduction to guinness draught, macallan whiskey, martell and hennessy cognac, blavdo vodka, tanquery gin and barcardi rum
-back feebles, front blunt fakies, back nosegrinds, back smiths, blunt to fakies on quarter pipes, bs bigspins and of course all my stock tricks
-started listening to pink floyd, alan parsons project, band of horses, wolfmother, stereophonics, sonic youth, soundgarden, the smiths and more beatles
-the year of fully flared!!
and i intend to spend my new years wasted and in bed before midnight, wake up in 2008, assuming the world does not destroy itself...
so here a big fuck you 2007...... and a fuck you to 2008....
heres a great video by depeche mode called enjoy the silence....
-went from being employed to unemployed
-worked as a waiter and eventually a bartender
-drank way too much, but on the upside it was good booze
-made too many "mistakes"
-almost fell in love, then realised that it was not going to work out
-went back to school for 2 sems, scored well for both of them
-met some cool and some not-so cool ppl at school, drank with the cool ones, got dissed by the not-so cool ones
-sprained ankle attempting my first handrail, which put me on the injured list for a long time
-my big brothers "incident"
-introduction to guinness draught, macallan whiskey, martell and hennessy cognac, blavdo vodka, tanquery gin and barcardi rum
-back feebles, front blunt fakies, back nosegrinds, back smiths, blunt to fakies on quarter pipes, bs bigspins and of course all my stock tricks
-started listening to pink floyd, alan parsons project, band of horses, wolfmother, stereophonics, sonic youth, soundgarden, the smiths and more beatles
-the year of fully flared!!
and i intend to spend my new years wasted and in bed before midnight, wake up in 2008, assuming the world does not destroy itself...
so here a big fuck you 2007...... and a fuck you to 2008....
heres a great video by depeche mode called enjoy the silence....
Friday, December 21, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Monday, November 05, 2007
details of skate tour on thursday (8th nov)
Timing:
11am till late
Skate Spots:
Jerrelds Stage
8 stair handrail at Evergreen
Tampines (ledge to drop, stairs, some rails)
Mode of Transport:
Van, rented
Other events:
-Riding ard Singapore in the back of a van for the first time in your life!!
-Dinner and booze at Sams place (tequila and quasidilas)
-Awesome day of skate with good friends
Things to bring:
yourself
your gnar-factor
board (a spare one in case you think you might break 1)
Drinks and candy (we are getting an ice box, so bring a huge bottle of drink so we dont have to keep buying drinks!!!)
your skills to the battle
camera (to capture that priceless switch flip down 10)
$12 (to cover food and tpt costs)
wax (ill bring some but who knows how buttery you want the ledge to be)
Where to meet:
Sams place at 1030 AM, or at Jerrleds place direct if you live near him
so remember to be early, so we can get a good long day of skating (and sex) in and top it off with food and drink!
Timing:
11am till late
Skate Spots:
Jerrelds Stage
8 stair handrail at Evergreen
Tampines (ledge to drop, stairs, some rails)
Mode of Transport:
Van, rented
Other events:
-Riding ard Singapore in the back of a van for the first time in your life!!
-Dinner and booze at Sams place (tequila and quasidilas)
-Awesome day of skate with good friends
Things to bring:
yourself
your gnar-factor
board (a spare one in case you think you might break 1)
Drinks and candy (we are getting an ice box, so bring a huge bottle of drink so we dont have to keep buying drinks!!!)
your skills to the battle
camera (to capture that priceless switch flip down 10)
$12 (to cover food and tpt costs)
wax (ill bring some but who knows how buttery you want the ledge to be)
Where to meet:
Sams place at 1030 AM, or at Jerrleds place direct if you live near him
so remember to be early, so we can get a good long day of skating (and sex) in and top it off with food and drink!
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
the shoes got ripped up pretty fast, after 2 days of skating.... bummer...
just finished the final touches of the comms project.... its been a bitch doing it.... fuck....
the other night i dreamnt of her.... but the memory fade as soon as i woke up....
i need cigarettes and i dont want to smoke my brothers menthols.....
a beer would be great now.....
lol.....
just finished the final touches of the comms project.... its been a bitch doing it.... fuck....
the other night i dreamnt of her.... but the memory fade as soon as i woke up....
i need cigarettes and i dont want to smoke my brothers menthols.....
a beer would be great now.....
lol.....
Monday, October 22, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
the state of skate today was great.... skate the whole evening at SP with the guys and it gets my so psyched to see everyone improving...
jeff is getting more consistent with his ledge tricks, alvins many combinations are off the chain..... sorry sam didnt watch you skate much today....
for myself, i finally landed bs feebles.... for the one i tried styling it out, i couldnt land them, but the loc-cock ones i lock in were successful....
hahaahahaha im such a kook....
jeff is getting more consistent with his ledge tricks, alvins many combinations are off the chain..... sorry sam didnt watch you skate much today....
for myself, i finally landed bs feebles.... for the one i tried styling it out, i couldnt land them, but the loc-cock ones i lock in were successful....
hahaahahaha im such a kook....
Monday, October 15, 2007
skating on sundays with the guys was great.... everyone was dead tired at the end of the day and that is some how an amazing feeling....
seeing that guy in the park tear the tranny up got me so psyched to learn how to skate tranny..... no handed fs and backside airs above the coping, blunt stalls which he popped CLEANLY out of, tweaked out melon to fakie airs and kickflip bs airs.....
and i broke my deck.... landed square in the middle of my deck doing a fs 180 over a rope barrier.... im amazed it lasted as long as it did....
seeing that guy in the park tear the tranny up got me so psyched to learn how to skate tranny..... no handed fs and backside airs above the coping, blunt stalls which he popped CLEANLY out of, tweaked out melon to fakie airs and kickflip bs airs.....
and i broke my deck.... landed square in the middle of my deck doing a fs 180 over a rope barrier.... im amazed it lasted as long as it did....
Thursday, October 11, 2007
theres never a right time or right way to break someones heart and give them bad news.... theres never a right time to say good bye....
there were moments when i thought you could be the one but i believe in following my instincts and gut feeling.... the connection just was not there, and at times i felt like i had to force conversation....
somebody kill me now.....
guys are jerks.....
there were moments when i thought you could be the one but i believe in following my instincts and gut feeling.... the connection just was not there, and at times i felt like i had to force conversation....
somebody kill me now.....
guys are jerks.....
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
sometimes i wonder if im doing something wrong.... i wonder if things are making progress.....
am i just being petty and oversensitive over a matter like breakfast?
i woder how much you're into me, whether im just wasting my time.... maybe thats what we need, time.... or will it delay the inevitable.....
you make me a happy person and i think your an amazing person with great strength that most can only hope to have... but i wonder if we will be great together....
"cos we're just 2 lost souls swimming in a fish bowl"
Pink Floyd
fuck i need a drink....
am i just being petty and oversensitive over a matter like breakfast?
i woder how much you're into me, whether im just wasting my time.... maybe thats what we need, time.... or will it delay the inevitable.....
you make me a happy person and i think your an amazing person with great strength that most can only hope to have... but i wonder if we will be great together....
"cos we're just 2 lost souls swimming in a fish bowl"
Pink Floyd
fuck i need a drink....
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
I had to do an english essay on something unique so here it is, let me know what you think:
The crew had finally assembled, despite 1of the members being late, at The Youth Park Stage, which would be the starting point for their day of skateboarding. LTP, as we are known as, is a band of travelling artists, each individual bringing their personal and unique craft, each new skate spot serving as a new canvas onto which a masterpiece would be created, with their inspiration fuelled by the companionship between them.
Ordinary objects to the common man represented a breath of opportunity to the skateboarders. The marble curbs scattered across the Central Business District of Singapore are for more than just sitting down. They provide a platform for skateboarders to perform incredibly complicated tricks upon, a medium for which artistic ideas can be fully expressed and personalised.
While it did resemble a sport in terms of the need for physical exertion, skateboarding lacks the competitive element that is the cornerstone of the fore. Skateboarders are rarely in competition with each other; their only opponent would be themselves. They are merely people who share a passion, and would love to see nothing more than the progression of this way of life.
Our journey begins in downtown Orchard Road at The Youth Park Stage. Nestled in the centre of Singapore’s busiest district, the elevated stage stands roughly 4 steps high, and is seen as the proving grounds for all skaters. As we begin to warm up for the long day of enjoyable physical punishment, a sense of excitement and freedom is felt among all of us, as we know that today will be one of the few occasions we will be able to be fully self expressed. One by one, we start to take our simple flips and spins down The Stage, much like the artist who starts his masterpiece with simple sketches and outlines, eventually building up to his final work of art
Out of the blue, Alvin, a feisty young skater who has little regard for his own safety, decides to attempt a technically demanding trick down The Stage. After a series of failed attempts that land in physical pain, he senses that he is getting close to pulling off something initially inconceivable. He summons one of us to start recording each try on the video camera, and ignoring the bruises and scrapes dealt to his body he soldiers on, giving it go after go.
Disaster nearly strikes when Alvin nearly injures his ankle on the last attempt, but being the committed skateboarder he is, he ignores the nagging fear at the back of his head, as well as the natural human tendency to nurse his injuries and decides to give it another go.
As he rolls towards the edge of The Stage, he mind is completely silent. He taps his skateboard against the tiled floor, launching it into the air. The flick of his toe, combined with the rotation of his shoulders, sends the board spinning horizontally then laterally. The top of the deck slaps the soles of his feet as he complete a 180 degree rotation. He braces himself for the landing as he floats slowly towards the ground, bending his knees to absorb the impact as he rolls away from a Backside Kickflip down The Stage.
In that span of 3 seconds, his mind is a blank slate. Despite the technically demanding nature of the trick, Alvin is not reading an instructional manual while executing the trick. His body is simply responding to the single thought running through his head. The 3 seconds are flickers of pure inner peace, where nothing at all in the world matters and you are completely lost in the moment. Neither the cracks on the floor, the sound of traffic zooming by nor the scorching heat can distract Alvin in his moment of complete clarity. The distractions fade into the background as the trick takes centre stage, and the skate is in complete control, creating something out of nothing, and lost in his world of Zen.
As Alvin rolls away from The Stage, we rush forward to congratulate him. However, he is the last one who is rejoicing, and insists on doing the same trick again after reviewing the last take on the video camera. 5 flawless attempts later, Alvin is finally satisfied with himself, sitting down, lighting a cigarette up and letting the world, as well as the joy catch up with him.
5 hours after leaving The Stage and the bustle of Orchard Road, we find ourselves at the West end of Singapore in the most obscure of locations. We are underneath the train tracks and it is a concrete wasteland. Indeed this would be a plot of wasted space had a few die-hard skateboarders not decided to create a makeshift skate park out the land, metal drain covers and plenty of concrete. News of The Banks, as the spot was known as was spread through word of mouth and while to some the obstacles looked like a heap of wasted effort, to my crew, we were in paradise.
Despite having tortured our bodies during the entire afternoon of skating, we are still energized and hungry to take our skills to battle. Like a pack of wolves going after herd of sheep, we being to dissect the concrete behemoth, attacking the parts that best suit our abilities, each of us hungry to leave our mark on the skate spot. As this goes on, we feed off each other’s creativity, and one person landing a trick becomes a group accomplishment.
As the evening sun beings to sit, it comes down to me and a makeshift ledge that slopes downwards across steep embankment. I’ve been toying with the idea go getting a trick across the ledge for the past 5 minutes. My friends remind me that it has actually been 30 minutes since I started riding up to the ledge, stopping before it, testing the surface to grind up and adjusted my shoes. Heart has been racing since I first even considered trying the trick, and he stress I was experiencing made me wonder why I have would want to do something so potentially hazardous.
I finally decide to go for it and on my first attempt I am sent hurtling towards the harsh and unforgiving concrete, landing with a loud thud that resembles a bowling dropping to the floor. As lie motionless, my friends rush to my side to check my conditions, it almost feels like the aching pain felt in my left arm is felt by the people who help me to my feet. Now the “first-try-gitters” out of the way, I rush to give the trick another whirl, and my crew look on with a combination of fear for my safety encouragement.
Another painful slam later, I decide to give the trick another go. This time all is right, the stars are aligned and the Gods look down upon me with favour. Battered and bruised my friends rush to join in my celebration and I am left wondering how they can be so happy for something that they are not even a part of. In fact they seem even happier than I am to have landed the trick.
Perhaps it is not about who has done what trick where, but rather skateboarders are happy when one of their own pushes their own limits, overcomes adversity and becomes someone greater than themselves. Indeed, no one felt upstage, inferior nor diminished as a skateboarder. Maybe it was because we all had a burning passion for our art skateboarding, and that they were content in people doing their very best in it and having a good time. There is no striving to be the best among us, as the best does not exist. Each of us is a unique individual who contributes in whatever way we can to bring progress to this way of life.
As the sun slowly behind the rows of high rise public apartments, the LTP crew sit outside a convenience store sharing cheaply made carbonated drinks, musing about the amazing day that had transpired. The aches and pain experience in our bodies were a small price to pay for the sheer enjoyment we experience today. Huddling around the tiny screen of the video camera, we reviewed the snippets of the day gone by, each of us wondering at the back of our heads who we keep skateboarding. In the span of a day, we had experience an entire spectrum of emotions, ranging from the elation when a friend breaks his physical limits, to the pain felt when one of our own is injured, to the oneness of mind and body.
As we step on our skateboards and push off into our separate ways home, we are reminded of what makes skateboarding so special to each of us. . Perhaps what keeps us going is the sense of brotherhood we have, coupled with a passion for skateboarding, topped off with our pursuit of artistic excellence that reminds us why we are LTP, but more importantly, skateboarders, people who keep on pushing.
The crew had finally assembled, despite 1of the members being late, at The Youth Park Stage, which would be the starting point for their day of skateboarding. LTP, as we are known as, is a band of travelling artists, each individual bringing their personal and unique craft, each new skate spot serving as a new canvas onto which a masterpiece would be created, with their inspiration fuelled by the companionship between them.
Ordinary objects to the common man represented a breath of opportunity to the skateboarders. The marble curbs scattered across the Central Business District of Singapore are for more than just sitting down. They provide a platform for skateboarders to perform incredibly complicated tricks upon, a medium for which artistic ideas can be fully expressed and personalised.
While it did resemble a sport in terms of the need for physical exertion, skateboarding lacks the competitive element that is the cornerstone of the fore. Skateboarders are rarely in competition with each other; their only opponent would be themselves. They are merely people who share a passion, and would love to see nothing more than the progression of this way of life.
Our journey begins in downtown Orchard Road at The Youth Park Stage. Nestled in the centre of Singapore’s busiest district, the elevated stage stands roughly 4 steps high, and is seen as the proving grounds for all skaters. As we begin to warm up for the long day of enjoyable physical punishment, a sense of excitement and freedom is felt among all of us, as we know that today will be one of the few occasions we will be able to be fully self expressed. One by one, we start to take our simple flips and spins down The Stage, much like the artist who starts his masterpiece with simple sketches and outlines, eventually building up to his final work of art
Out of the blue, Alvin, a feisty young skater who has little regard for his own safety, decides to attempt a technically demanding trick down The Stage. After a series of failed attempts that land in physical pain, he senses that he is getting close to pulling off something initially inconceivable. He summons one of us to start recording each try on the video camera, and ignoring the bruises and scrapes dealt to his body he soldiers on, giving it go after go.
Disaster nearly strikes when Alvin nearly injures his ankle on the last attempt, but being the committed skateboarder he is, he ignores the nagging fear at the back of his head, as well as the natural human tendency to nurse his injuries and decides to give it another go.
As he rolls towards the edge of The Stage, he mind is completely silent. He taps his skateboard against the tiled floor, launching it into the air. The flick of his toe, combined with the rotation of his shoulders, sends the board spinning horizontally then laterally. The top of the deck slaps the soles of his feet as he complete a 180 degree rotation. He braces himself for the landing as he floats slowly towards the ground, bending his knees to absorb the impact as he rolls away from a Backside Kickflip down The Stage.
In that span of 3 seconds, his mind is a blank slate. Despite the technically demanding nature of the trick, Alvin is not reading an instructional manual while executing the trick. His body is simply responding to the single thought running through his head. The 3 seconds are flickers of pure inner peace, where nothing at all in the world matters and you are completely lost in the moment. Neither the cracks on the floor, the sound of traffic zooming by nor the scorching heat can distract Alvin in his moment of complete clarity. The distractions fade into the background as the trick takes centre stage, and the skate is in complete control, creating something out of nothing, and lost in his world of Zen.
As Alvin rolls away from The Stage, we rush forward to congratulate him. However, he is the last one who is rejoicing, and insists on doing the same trick again after reviewing the last take on the video camera. 5 flawless attempts later, Alvin is finally satisfied with himself, sitting down, lighting a cigarette up and letting the world, as well as the joy catch up with him.
5 hours after leaving The Stage and the bustle of Orchard Road, we find ourselves at the West end of Singapore in the most obscure of locations. We are underneath the train tracks and it is a concrete wasteland. Indeed this would be a plot of wasted space had a few die-hard skateboarders not decided to create a makeshift skate park out the land, metal drain covers and plenty of concrete. News of The Banks, as the spot was known as was spread through word of mouth and while to some the obstacles looked like a heap of wasted effort, to my crew, we were in paradise.
Despite having tortured our bodies during the entire afternoon of skating, we are still energized and hungry to take our skills to battle. Like a pack of wolves going after herd of sheep, we being to dissect the concrete behemoth, attacking the parts that best suit our abilities, each of us hungry to leave our mark on the skate spot. As this goes on, we feed off each other’s creativity, and one person landing a trick becomes a group accomplishment.
As the evening sun beings to sit, it comes down to me and a makeshift ledge that slopes downwards across steep embankment. I’ve been toying with the idea go getting a trick across the ledge for the past 5 minutes. My friends remind me that it has actually been 30 minutes since I started riding up to the ledge, stopping before it, testing the surface to grind up and adjusted my shoes. Heart has been racing since I first even considered trying the trick, and he stress I was experiencing made me wonder why I have would want to do something so potentially hazardous.
I finally decide to go for it and on my first attempt I am sent hurtling towards the harsh and unforgiving concrete, landing with a loud thud that resembles a bowling dropping to the floor. As lie motionless, my friends rush to my side to check my conditions, it almost feels like the aching pain felt in my left arm is felt by the people who help me to my feet. Now the “first-try-gitters” out of the way, I rush to give the trick another whirl, and my crew look on with a combination of fear for my safety encouragement.
Another painful slam later, I decide to give the trick another go. This time all is right, the stars are aligned and the Gods look down upon me with favour. Battered and bruised my friends rush to join in my celebration and I am left wondering how they can be so happy for something that they are not even a part of. In fact they seem even happier than I am to have landed the trick.
Perhaps it is not about who has done what trick where, but rather skateboarders are happy when one of their own pushes their own limits, overcomes adversity and becomes someone greater than themselves. Indeed, no one felt upstage, inferior nor diminished as a skateboarder. Maybe it was because we all had a burning passion for our art skateboarding, and that they were content in people doing their very best in it and having a good time. There is no striving to be the best among us, as the best does not exist. Each of us is a unique individual who contributes in whatever way we can to bring progress to this way of life.
As the sun slowly behind the rows of high rise public apartments, the LTP crew sit outside a convenience store sharing cheaply made carbonated drinks, musing about the amazing day that had transpired. The aches and pain experience in our bodies were a small price to pay for the sheer enjoyment we experience today. Huddling around the tiny screen of the video camera, we reviewed the snippets of the day gone by, each of us wondering at the back of our heads who we keep skateboarding. In the span of a day, we had experience an entire spectrum of emotions, ranging from the elation when a friend breaks his physical limits, to the pain felt when one of our own is injured, to the oneness of mind and body.
As we step on our skateboards and push off into our separate ways home, we are reminded of what makes skateboarding so special to each of us. . Perhaps what keeps us going is the sense of brotherhood we have, coupled with a passion for skateboarding, topped off with our pursuit of artistic excellence that reminds us why we are LTP, but more importantly, skateboarders, people who keep on pushing.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Monday, September 03, 2007
i went for my first date with claris to the zoo last sunday, the 2nd of aug and it was really fun.... good times with a great girl.... i rarely go on dates so this was great...
being with her rekindles a feelign ive not felt in a while... even sam says i sound different now, which is a good thing...
i once posted abt a bob marley song, is this love, when i just broke up with janice, my ex... i posted that in hopes of trying to get her back... i listened to the song today and i felt like posting abt it again because it expresses how im feeling right now abt claris....
I want to love you
I want to love and treat you right
I want to love you, everyday and every night
i want things to work out.... i guess ill have to take things slow, just like at kokomo..... another song by the beach boys....
being with her rekindles a feelign ive not felt in a while... even sam says i sound different now, which is a good thing...
i once posted abt a bob marley song, is this love, when i just broke up with janice, my ex... i posted that in hopes of trying to get her back... i listened to the song today and i felt like posting abt it again because it expresses how im feeling right now abt claris....
I want to love you
I want to love and treat you right
I want to love you, everyday and every night
i want things to work out.... i guess ill have to take things slow, just like at kokomo..... another song by the beach boys....
Saturday, August 11, 2007
the skate tour with the boys was great.... 6 guys in a car, going from spot to spot and just having fun, filiming and getting photos... really good times with good friends, going to bukit batok, lakeside, kovan and amk....
but ssing my friends skate has made me realise how much they have progressed over time....
sam: LTPs resident switch master, from fucking up left ankle to a guy who cant skate anything not switch...
alvin: ATV, skating anything and everything.... when i first knew him he could only do boardslides and noselsides on curbs, now the fucker can match me trick for trick on a mini ramp... good diversity and skates anything in front of him....
jerreld: still has one of the cleanest and most consistent flips among any of us... hes mellowed out a lot, but still a great guy to qoute borat lines with....
jeff: fearless as fuck... hes got his ollies and pop shove its on lock...
sam (bb): always a joy to hang with with his random one-liners and strange sense of humour.... he mellowed out alot too but but his half cab heels are still popped and proper...
me: im just happy to skate with good friends who are willing to put up with my last trick requests, even if i do take one too many tries at stuff...
skate tours like these really revive my hinger for skating, and makes me feel yound again... it reminds me of a simpler time when i didnt work, and skating was my only concern.... being able to get something filmed or photograpped is a great accomplishment for me because these days i hardly get anything done... bringing old tricks to new spots or new trick to old spots, the situation is never the same and it reminds me how fun skating should be...
great fun lets do this again soon guys....
but ssing my friends skate has made me realise how much they have progressed over time....
sam: LTPs resident switch master, from fucking up left ankle to a guy who cant skate anything not switch...
alvin: ATV, skating anything and everything.... when i first knew him he could only do boardslides and noselsides on curbs, now the fucker can match me trick for trick on a mini ramp... good diversity and skates anything in front of him....
jerreld: still has one of the cleanest and most consistent flips among any of us... hes mellowed out a lot, but still a great guy to qoute borat lines with....
jeff: fearless as fuck... hes got his ollies and pop shove its on lock...
sam (bb): always a joy to hang with with his random one-liners and strange sense of humour.... he mellowed out alot too but but his half cab heels are still popped and proper...
me: im just happy to skate with good friends who are willing to put up with my last trick requests, even if i do take one too many tries at stuff...
skate tours like these really revive my hinger for skating, and makes me feel yound again... it reminds me of a simpler time when i didnt work, and skating was my only concern.... being able to get something filmed or photograpped is a great accomplishment for me because these days i hardly get anything done... bringing old tricks to new spots or new trick to old spots, the situation is never the same and it reminds me how fun skating should be...
great fun lets do this again soon guys....
Sunday, August 05, 2007
schools lame... when i came to uni i expected it to be full of mature thinking young adults... instead all i see is a bunch of immature fucks who cant tell the difference between a joke and seriousness.... jesus fucking christ its shit like this that really grinds my fucking gears...
nobody needs this bullshit in their life, and i got better things to do with my life than take this from a bunch of cry baby bitches... if you got a fucking problem with me, say it to my fucking face rather than hide behind a girl whose nice and sweet to talk trash about me.... if you look up the word pathetic in the dictionary, you would see the faces of these ppl....
fuck this pretentious bull shit....
nobody needs this bullshit in their life, and i got better things to do with my life than take this from a bunch of cry baby bitches... if you got a fucking problem with me, say it to my fucking face rather than hide behind a girl whose nice and sweet to talk trash about me.... if you look up the word pathetic in the dictionary, you would see the faces of these ppl....
fuck this pretentious bull shit....
Friday, July 06, 2007
i talked to sam today and he told me that alvin felt like skating... ive felt the same way especially recently when work is beging to take over skateboarding...
thinking about it, i find it impossible to quit skating forever... all over my home im surrounded with all things skateboarding, like its music, magazines, decks, videos and clothing... i could never quit skating, the love for it is just too great....
besides what else could i do if i quit....
thinking about it, i find it impossible to quit skating forever... all over my home im surrounded with all things skateboarding, like its music, magazines, decks, videos and clothing... i could never quit skating, the love for it is just too great....
besides what else could i do if i quit....
Sunday, June 24, 2007
yeah im finally 21... i worked on my birthday but i got to party with the boys (tris, gwao and my bro) on sunday so that was tight as hell... beers, waterfall, more beer, champagne, plus i got to sing at acid with my brother.... that was fucking cool....
overall a great birthday week...
monday: new deck, trucks and wheels
wednesday: steak dinner and brownies with my family
thursday: work i guess
friday: 96% for my english mid term, and did the photoshoot for mondays straits times (250607)
saturday: met some great customers, and 1 even bought me a guinness draught... life is sweet....
sunday: carls jr dinner, beers at alley bar, champagne and more beer with the guys... great wallet from gwao for my birthday....
its been a great 21st birthday and all i have to say is YING BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!
but on the flip side im working at acid bar way too hard for my own good... my back is killing me and i get too tired to skate, which is wack... goddamn we need a full timer....
overall a great birthday week...
monday: new deck, trucks and wheels
wednesday: steak dinner and brownies with my family
thursday: work i guess
friday: 96% for my english mid term, and did the photoshoot for mondays straits times (250607)
saturday: met some great customers, and 1 even bought me a guinness draught... life is sweet....
sunday: carls jr dinner, beers at alley bar, champagne and more beer with the guys... great wallet from gwao for my birthday....
its been a great 21st birthday and all i have to say is YING BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!
but on the flip side im working at acid bar way too hard for my own good... my back is killing me and i get too tired to skate, which is wack... goddamn we need a full timer....
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
when i first started skating around 5 years back, i didnt really have a care... i could skate everyday and the only thing that could stop me was injuries or rain, and even when it rained we found some spot to skate...
looking back now it makes me realise how much i took skateboarding for granted... nowadays i cant go out and skate even if i wanted to, because of school and work... i cant just ditch my job and come up with an excuse just to go skate...
the clip below is about andrew reynolds bs flipping wallenberg, and its sick as hell...
skate while you can
looking back now it makes me realise how much i took skateboarding for granted... nowadays i cant go out and skate even if i wanted to, because of school and work... i cant just ditch my job and come up with an excuse just to go skate...
the clip below is about andrew reynolds bs flipping wallenberg, and its sick as hell...
skate while you can
Monday, June 11, 2007
Monday, June 04, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
After 1 month of consideration, I moved down to work at Acid Bar... Same company as Rouge just different outlet... Its good because I get to pursue my passion, bartending there... I now work 4 days a week, from wed till saturday...
working and schooling takes a lot of out me, so much that I can barely spend times with my friends... Its not that I dont want to spend time with them and skate, but the truth is that bills need to be paid, and work is the source of money...
working and schooling takes a lot of out me, so much that I can barely spend times with my friends... Its not that I dont want to spend time with them and skate, but the truth is that bills need to be paid, and work is the source of money...
Monday, May 14, 2007
wow apparently people read this page of crap...
well, i cut my left index finger really badly at work last friday... basically the glass was cracked already, then when i was cleaning the rim, the glass shattered and glass went right in... i couldnt work the following day thanks to needing to get 5 stiches from the doctor...
as it turns out ppl can be concerned about my life, i should probably do something, but im already in my payjamas...
well, i cut my left index finger really badly at work last friday... basically the glass was cracked already, then when i was cleaning the rim, the glass shattered and glass went right in... i couldnt work the following day thanks to needing to get 5 stiches from the doctor...
as it turns out ppl can be concerned about my life, i should probably do something, but im already in my payjamas...
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Once again, life has screwed me over... I finally get to work in the bar, but because I start school in early May, some guy who has been at Rouge 2 days as a floor staff gets to work in the bar... I cant fucking believe it, I mean whatever happened to paying your dues and waiting your turn in line.... Fuck man, Rouge has screwed me over twice already, first with them hiring an incompetent bartender who i could easily outdo, and next they put the new guy in the bar after 2 fucking days.... time is really not on my side, and luck isant as well...
At least my brother and I are starting up a business, and i wont have to deal with a company continually screwing me over forever....
Nice guys finish last, and the world never recognises the hard working SOB....
At least my brother and I are starting up a business, and i wont have to deal with a company continually screwing me over forever....
Nice guys finish last, and the world never recognises the hard working SOB....
Sunday, April 08, 2007
My kickflip is lost, I am working in a dead end job, where some incompetent fool is working at the position I have patiently waited in line for... My life is in the shitter right now, and the only thing I look forward to is starting my uni life at SIM...
My drinking is way up, my skating sucks, no love in my life...
There you have it, my life...
My drinking is way up, my skating sucks, no love in my life...
There you have it, my life...
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
So heres to you, a poem:
I Hope
I hope he bring you lots of misery
Boatloads of sleepless nights
A unfufilling relationship
Plenty of crap
I deserve better
Your damn loss
Sooner or later
Your going to be the last thing on my mind
I found out some really cool stuff today... Lifes cool, in that you will meet the right people at the right time, to tell you the things that you need to hear.... Stuff that will make sense to you and get you out of the hole that you are in...
Also, the stuff that you once thought were important, turn out to be completely unimportant at the end of the day... Wise words from a good friend, John Molina...
Heres what didnt work today:
- Triple shot of scotch whiskey
- The New Singapore Sling (Gin, Apple flavoured Vodka, Absinthe, Orange Juice laced with Chivas Whiskey)
- A really strong Screwdriver (Made with cheap Russian Vodka)
- A can of Guiness Draught
I Hope
I hope he bring you lots of misery
Boatloads of sleepless nights
A unfufilling relationship
Plenty of crap
I deserve better
Your damn loss
Sooner or later
Your going to be the last thing on my mind
I found out some really cool stuff today... Lifes cool, in that you will meet the right people at the right time, to tell you the things that you need to hear.... Stuff that will make sense to you and get you out of the hole that you are in...
Also, the stuff that you once thought were important, turn out to be completely unimportant at the end of the day... Wise words from a good friend, John Molina...
Heres what didnt work today:
- Triple shot of scotch whiskey
- The New Singapore Sling (Gin, Apple flavoured Vodka, Absinthe, Orange Juice laced with Chivas Whiskey)
- A really strong Screwdriver (Made with cheap Russian Vodka)
- A can of Guiness Draught
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Heres the Sound Garden Black Hole Sun video... This is what modern music videos lack, an edge, creepiness, acid-trip like visuals and haunting lyrics....
Heres what grinds my gears:
- Hinder and that damn Lips of an Angel Song (where I work, the band is forced to play it on a daily basis.... Listen to the lyrics, they suck like hell...)
- People who dont seed in Bit Torrent (for Gods Sake let me have my porn!!)
- Teenage Dramas and reality shows (Falcon Beach, One tree hill, Laguna beach, you know the crap)
Heres what gets me psyched:
- Pink Floyd (so influential, a piece of musical art, you have to hear each album as a whole to experience its genius)
- Edinger Beer (light, smooth, with plenty of character, lots to love)
- My little sister at Rouge Outdoors, Majella (she is so fun to bully and shes the little sister my brother and i wish we had...)
- Clerks (Kevin Smith is a genius, speaking of all the shit that people in the service industry put up with on a daily basis)
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
My current favourite song is Black Hole Sun by the now defunct Sound Garden, as they have now become Audioslave.... Well anything the John Molina and Kruger play at Rouge, where i work is good, but this song is tops on my list right now... i would publish the lyrics if only the formatting would come out right but it has not...
Perhaps its the poetry of the words that draws me to the song, or the stonned out voice of chris cornell, or maybe the bleak and dark imagery it paints... whatever it is, it seems to express how i feel about my life right now...
Heres what Grind My Gears:
- People who say that they love the music of (insert pop icon who is overplayed on local radio, like Pussy Cat Dolls or any of that crap)... Whats the big fucking appeal of that kind of music?? The only this the group has going for it is a deep pounding baseline in their songs, plenty of big-shot cameos, sexually suggestive lyrics and videos, and hot girls.... dont get me wrong here, im not gay and i love hot girls, but whats the appeal?? The songs have no meaning, and encourages young girls to be sluts... And for gods sake, there is only 1 singer in the group, the rest are just filler.... What ever happened to meaningful lyrics thatcarried a certain poetry about them?? I though good music was more than having a synthesizer do all the work for you...
Perhaps its the poetry of the words that draws me to the song, or the stonned out voice of chris cornell, or maybe the bleak and dark imagery it paints... whatever it is, it seems to express how i feel about my life right now...
Heres what Grind My Gears:
- People who say that they love the music of (insert pop icon who is overplayed on local radio, like Pussy Cat Dolls or any of that crap)... Whats the big fucking appeal of that kind of music?? The only this the group has going for it is a deep pounding baseline in their songs, plenty of big-shot cameos, sexually suggestive lyrics and videos, and hot girls.... dont get me wrong here, im not gay and i love hot girls, but whats the appeal?? The songs have no meaning, and encourages young girls to be sluts... And for gods sake, there is only 1 singer in the group, the rest are just filler.... What ever happened to meaningful lyrics thatcarried a certain poetry about them?? I though good music was more than having a synthesizer do all the work for you...
Monday, March 12, 2007
You know what really grinds my gears??
-Sarong Party Girls (SPGs)
-Local Radio
-Westerners who come to Singapore thinking they are the shit
-People who dont tip
-Absolut Vodka
-People not being straight forward
But heres the stuff that doesnt grind my gears:
-Good times with good friends (Booze included)
-Skateboarding
-Family
-Giving Up Smoking (6 days and counting)
-A good book
I noticed that whenever we look at our lives, we always seem to focus on the "bad" stuff... Like how much we hate our jobs, how life cheats you time and time again, how you are being ripped off everytime you drink at a club, or how you feel like nobody notices you... But then again, theres plenty in life to be thankful for... Im not suggesting the "look on the bright side" crap, but rather noticing that there are many things going your way in life... Not like ignore the bad stuff, but simply noticing the stuff that you didnt know was good...
"You know what? I may have a (insert bad thing in life), but then again, I have a (insert good thing) going on for me..."
Something to that effect... Fuck postiive thinking, this is realising whats so in your life...
-Sarong Party Girls (SPGs)
-Local Radio
-Westerners who come to Singapore thinking they are the shit
-People who dont tip
-Absolut Vodka
-People not being straight forward
But heres the stuff that doesnt grind my gears:
-Good times with good friends (Booze included)
-Skateboarding
-Family
-Giving Up Smoking (6 days and counting)
-A good book
I noticed that whenever we look at our lives, we always seem to focus on the "bad" stuff... Like how much we hate our jobs, how life cheats you time and time again, how you are being ripped off everytime you drink at a club, or how you feel like nobody notices you... But then again, theres plenty in life to be thankful for... Im not suggesting the "look on the bright side" crap, but rather noticing that there are many things going your way in life... Not like ignore the bad stuff, but simply noticing the stuff that you didnt know was good...
"You know what? I may have a (insert bad thing in life), but then again, I have a (insert good thing) going on for me..."
Something to that effect... Fuck postiive thinking, this is realising whats so in your life...
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
It appears that every 4 months, i feel the need to blog, which i find very peculiar... right now my eyes are too tired to type for long, so ill keep it short....
looking through the box of memories, it makes me wonder what might have been.... perhaps im getting this feeling from watching the movie clerks, where the main character cannot seem to give up on his ex-girlfriend for 5 years, though he is in a relationship with a girl whose crazy about him... to add insult to injury, he finds out that shes getting married, and when they finally get back together, she accidently has sex with a dead old man with a boner who has died in the convenience store bath room.... ok, maybe only the first part applies to me...
i guess thats whats been bugging me all of today, my off day.... i cant help but feel like the best thing in my life has slipped away, and i am doomed to spend the rest of my life living unfufilling relationships, constantly remininising about what could have been with "the girl of my dreams".... i heard that girls never forget their first love, and i feel the same way... like how you will never ever forget the experience of love you had with that person, the sacrifices you made, the shit you put up with (though it didnt seem like shit at the time), the stupid mistakes you made, and how you made each other's life complete....
or perhaps is because ive not met everybody there is to meet out there... what i do hope is that i meet someone who inspired the same experiences and feelings that the first love did... but then again, it wouldnt be about old feelings or experiences, but completely new ones, because nobody is like anyone else, and no relationship is like any other....
heres a qoute from the book tuesdays with morrie:
"death removes a person, but not the relationship"
looking through the box of memories, it makes me wonder what might have been.... perhaps im getting this feeling from watching the movie clerks, where the main character cannot seem to give up on his ex-girlfriend for 5 years, though he is in a relationship with a girl whose crazy about him... to add insult to injury, he finds out that shes getting married, and when they finally get back together, she accidently has sex with a dead old man with a boner who has died in the convenience store bath room.... ok, maybe only the first part applies to me...
i guess thats whats been bugging me all of today, my off day.... i cant help but feel like the best thing in my life has slipped away, and i am doomed to spend the rest of my life living unfufilling relationships, constantly remininising about what could have been with "the girl of my dreams".... i heard that girls never forget their first love, and i feel the same way... like how you will never ever forget the experience of love you had with that person, the sacrifices you made, the shit you put up with (though it didnt seem like shit at the time), the stupid mistakes you made, and how you made each other's life complete....
or perhaps is because ive not met everybody there is to meet out there... what i do hope is that i meet someone who inspired the same experiences and feelings that the first love did... but then again, it wouldnt be about old feelings or experiences, but completely new ones, because nobody is like anyone else, and no relationship is like any other....
heres a qoute from the book tuesdays with morrie:
"death removes a person, but not the relationship"
Monday, October 16, 2006
another post here, something i thought i would never do... its 1:15 am on tuesday, the 17th of october, or 0115 hrs, 171006, in military time... coming back to this fucking blog and reading the stuff i posted is surreal and it stings to read... its funny how the feels i had 5 months ago, as stated in the past 2 entries have evolved... heres a list of stuff that has worked, and not worked, over the past few months:
stuff that works:
-having close friends
-a family that love you more that life itself
-skateboarding
stuff that hasnt worked:
-smoking more
-partying harder
nothing new to people who have been through this kind of stuff before...
i seriously dread blogging here, its brings back too many painful memories... looking back at my first and last post, i find it amazing how fast i let things slide down the slippery slope of neglect and not-giving-a-fuck... im surprised that blogger has not closed down this account yet,seeing that it only has 3 entries, prior to this one... i wonder who even reads the stuff thats here, perhaps some person who clicks on some random blog, only to find a schizophrenic singaporean lamenting about waiting for the girl of his dreams, only to read 2 posts later that the shits hit the fan and that its all over... the guy probably read the first post and closed the window, not wanting to hear the poor son-of-a-bitch whining on and on about the stuff that happened....
its terrible pathetic, to look back at past emails and blog entries of her... reading that stuff, in a vain effort to rekindle the lost feelings of love and tenderness that i so carelessly wasted... but then again, like i always say, what are feelings? they are simply impulses, triggered by our brain to release chemical and hormones into our body, to create that feeling of "love"... that isant love, thats chemistry....
then again, can you blame me? i really enjoied every email that was sent by her... reading them for the first time, and just yesterday brought back the whole of the last year and 10 months into perspective... its almost as if each email serves as a bookmark on each happening over time, from the time i enlisted in the army, till this day, when im a commissioned officer, sitting in front of his internet enabled computer at 1am in the morning, blogger on an account he has not touched in ages....
i dont know what to say about the relationship... i want it to work out, and thats all i have to say, all i want...then again i cant blame her for moving on with her life, shes probably the object of many american guys desires in davis, ca... what does a simple boy from singapore have to offer a goddess like herself?
but then again, im just creating a story, and feeling sorry for myself... please excuse the last paragraphs words of self-pity, and lack of testicular fortitude.... to me, its always been about me thinking that im not able to deal with whatever life throws at me... and about constantly giving up that story, and living in the world of possibility...
ive been letting the whole story of i cant handle it, take control of my life... and it has manifested in that way... the other day when janice told me that she was going out to a party, just when i started to chat with her on msn, thats when i started to live in that world of i cant handle it... it manifested itself in saturdays skate session with the guys... i was going crazy, throwing my deck around and getting pissed off, something i havent dont in a long while....
i dont know what im trying to accomplish blogger here, in this desolate nook in cyberspace... then again, does everything need to have a purpose, and what is a purpose, anyway... it only exists in language....
dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind... words sung by kansas, which to a rare few, open up the world of possibility, a world where anything and everything is possible..... to others, its just a soothing song... such poetry in the words that were written.... the kind of song that i love... poety in the lyrics, essential for a great song...
i close my eyes, if only for a moment and the moments gone... all my dreams, past before my eyes a curosity.... dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wing.... same old song, we're just a drop of water in an endless sea.... all we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see.... dust in the wind, everything is dust in the wind... now hang on, cos nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky.... it slips away, and all your money wont another minute buy... dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind.... dust in the wind, everything is dust in the wind... in the wing...
strange how things that mean everything to us, are also nothing to us, just like the dust blowing in the wind...
i dont know how to end this blog... i guess that the right people will read this entry at the right time in their lives, and it will make an impact on them....
stuff that works:
-having close friends
-a family that love you more that life itself
-skateboarding
stuff that hasnt worked:
-smoking more
-partying harder
nothing new to people who have been through this kind of stuff before...
i seriously dread blogging here, its brings back too many painful memories... looking back at my first and last post, i find it amazing how fast i let things slide down the slippery slope of neglect and not-giving-a-fuck... im surprised that blogger has not closed down this account yet,seeing that it only has 3 entries, prior to this one... i wonder who even reads the stuff thats here, perhaps some person who clicks on some random blog, only to find a schizophrenic singaporean lamenting about waiting for the girl of his dreams, only to read 2 posts later that the shits hit the fan and that its all over... the guy probably read the first post and closed the window, not wanting to hear the poor son-of-a-bitch whining on and on about the stuff that happened....
its terrible pathetic, to look back at past emails and blog entries of her... reading that stuff, in a vain effort to rekindle the lost feelings of love and tenderness that i so carelessly wasted... but then again, like i always say, what are feelings? they are simply impulses, triggered by our brain to release chemical and hormones into our body, to create that feeling of "love"... that isant love, thats chemistry....
then again, can you blame me? i really enjoied every email that was sent by her... reading them for the first time, and just yesterday brought back the whole of the last year and 10 months into perspective... its almost as if each email serves as a bookmark on each happening over time, from the time i enlisted in the army, till this day, when im a commissioned officer, sitting in front of his internet enabled computer at 1am in the morning, blogger on an account he has not touched in ages....
i dont know what to say about the relationship... i want it to work out, and thats all i have to say, all i want...then again i cant blame her for moving on with her life, shes probably the object of many american guys desires in davis, ca... what does a simple boy from singapore have to offer a goddess like herself?
but then again, im just creating a story, and feeling sorry for myself... please excuse the last paragraphs words of self-pity, and lack of testicular fortitude.... to me, its always been about me thinking that im not able to deal with whatever life throws at me... and about constantly giving up that story, and living in the world of possibility...
ive been letting the whole story of i cant handle it, take control of my life... and it has manifested in that way... the other day when janice told me that she was going out to a party, just when i started to chat with her on msn, thats when i started to live in that world of i cant handle it... it manifested itself in saturdays skate session with the guys... i was going crazy, throwing my deck around and getting pissed off, something i havent dont in a long while....
i dont know what im trying to accomplish blogger here, in this desolate nook in cyberspace... then again, does everything need to have a purpose, and what is a purpose, anyway... it only exists in language....
dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind... words sung by kansas, which to a rare few, open up the world of possibility, a world where anything and everything is possible..... to others, its just a soothing song... such poetry in the words that were written.... the kind of song that i love... poety in the lyrics, essential for a great song...
i close my eyes, if only for a moment and the moments gone... all my dreams, past before my eyes a curosity.... dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wing.... same old song, we're just a drop of water in an endless sea.... all we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see.... dust in the wind, everything is dust in the wind... now hang on, cos nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky.... it slips away, and all your money wont another minute buy... dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind.... dust in the wind, everything is dust in the wind... in the wing...
strange how things that mean everything to us, are also nothing to us, just like the dust blowing in the wind...
i dont know how to end this blog... i guess that the right people will read this entry at the right time in their lives, and it will make an impact on them....
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Bob Marley
Is This Love
I wanna love you and treat you right;I wanna love you every day and every night:We'll be together with a roof right over our heads;We'll share the shelter of my single bed;We'll share the same room, yeah! - for jah provide the bread.Is this love - is this love - is this love -Is this love that I'm feelin'' Is this love - is this love - is this love -Is this love that I'm feelin'' I wanna know - wanna know - wanna know now!I got to know - got to know - got to know now!I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i - I'm willing and able,So I throw my cards on your table!I wanna love you - I wanna love and treat - love and treat you right;I wanna love you every day and every night:We'll be together, yeah! - with a roof right over our heads;We'll share the shelter, yeah, oh now! - of my single bed;We'll share the same room, yeah! - for jah provide the bread.Is this love - is this love - is this love -Is this love that I'm feelin'' Is this love - is this love - is this love -Is this love that I'm feelin'' Wo-o-o-oah! oh yes, I know; yes, I know - yes, I know now!Yes, I know; yes, I know - yes, I know now!I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i - I'm willing and able,So I throw my cards on your table!See: I wanna love ya, I wanna love and treat ya -Love and treat ya right.I wanna love you every day and every night:We'll be together, with a roof right over our heads!We'll share the shelter of my single bed;We'll share the same room, yeah! jah provide the bread.We'll share the shelter of my single bed...
ive not been wanting to blog for the longest time, well, since i became single again, which was just about a week ago...
not angry or upset, just really bummed, and i feel like ive been cheated by life and love... hence the title of the bob marley song... "i wanna know, wanna know, wanna know...."
so many things remind me of janice, even though all i want to do right now is not think about her, or what has happened... like i want to move on from this so badly, but im not done getting over with it...
its hard to go on wiht life pretending like it never happened, because every moment im not working or doing stuff, it just comes back into my head... like a song you cant get out of your head...
i packed up all the stuff i ever got from janice... tonnes of letters, souviouneers from america, the heart shaped pillow, the porno mags the clothes and the uniform... i put it on top of my closet, so i wont ever have to be reminded of the relationship and its demise...
its not that i dont love her anymore... far from it... i want to love her, but it seems that right now im not the thing she needs in her life...
i feel cheated, screwed over by life, and above all, misjudged... i dont deny that what i did made her feel unloved, or that i thought the relationship was a sinking ship, as i always say... but what mades be feel cheated is that everything in the past didnt count for anything... its almost as if everything that happened in 2005 didnt exist, and all that every mattered was what happened this year...
ive done things that make me unworthy of your love, and ive been having the thought that the relationships not going to last... as strange as it sounds, despite that, i still love janice, and want to be part of my life and, mine a part of hers... i wonder if my love for her is still worth anything to her... i sure hope so...
"i want to love you, and treat you right... i want to love you, everyday and every night..."
Is This Love
I wanna love you and treat you right;I wanna love you every day and every night:We'll be together with a roof right over our heads;We'll share the shelter of my single bed;We'll share the same room, yeah! - for jah provide the bread.Is this love - is this love - is this love -Is this love that I'm feelin'' Is this love - is this love - is this love -Is this love that I'm feelin'' I wanna know - wanna know - wanna know now!I got to know - got to know - got to know now!I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i - I'm willing and able,So I throw my cards on your table!I wanna love you - I wanna love and treat - love and treat you right;I wanna love you every day and every night:We'll be together, yeah! - with a roof right over our heads;We'll share the shelter, yeah, oh now! - of my single bed;We'll share the same room, yeah! - for jah provide the bread.Is this love - is this love - is this love -Is this love that I'm feelin'' Is this love - is this love - is this love -Is this love that I'm feelin'' Wo-o-o-oah! oh yes, I know; yes, I know - yes, I know now!Yes, I know; yes, I know - yes, I know now!I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i - I'm willing and able,So I throw my cards on your table!See: I wanna love ya, I wanna love and treat ya -Love and treat ya right.I wanna love you every day and every night:We'll be together, with a roof right over our heads!We'll share the shelter of my single bed;We'll share the same room, yeah! jah provide the bread.We'll share the shelter of my single bed...
ive not been wanting to blog for the longest time, well, since i became single again, which was just about a week ago...
not angry or upset, just really bummed, and i feel like ive been cheated by life and love... hence the title of the bob marley song... "i wanna know, wanna know, wanna know...."
so many things remind me of janice, even though all i want to do right now is not think about her, or what has happened... like i want to move on from this so badly, but im not done getting over with it...
its hard to go on wiht life pretending like it never happened, because every moment im not working or doing stuff, it just comes back into my head... like a song you cant get out of your head...
i packed up all the stuff i ever got from janice... tonnes of letters, souviouneers from america, the heart shaped pillow, the porno mags the clothes and the uniform... i put it on top of my closet, so i wont ever have to be reminded of the relationship and its demise...
its not that i dont love her anymore... far from it... i want to love her, but it seems that right now im not the thing she needs in her life...
i feel cheated, screwed over by life, and above all, misjudged... i dont deny that what i did made her feel unloved, or that i thought the relationship was a sinking ship, as i always say... but what mades be feel cheated is that everything in the past didnt count for anything... its almost as if everything that happened in 2005 didnt exist, and all that every mattered was what happened this year...
ive done things that make me unworthy of your love, and ive been having the thought that the relationships not going to last... as strange as it sounds, despite that, i still love janice, and want to be part of my life and, mine a part of hers... i wonder if my love for her is still worth anything to her... i sure hope so...
"i want to love you, and treat you right... i want to love you, everyday and every night..."
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
need to air my thoughts....
as of late, my relationship with janice would be, what i consider, wierd... or to put it more clearly, distant... everyday, i feel like im one step closer to losing the girl i love, and yet i cat seem to bring myself to care abt it... as always, my mids going crazy, being torn in 2 separate directions...
the feeling of being distant from her comes from the part that i dont feel involved in her life, and how her life is no longer involved in mine... or should i say minimal... to me, i feel like ive grown too accustomed to her being away...
the otherside of me is feeling miserable, and in pain... i dont want this to end, i dont want something this good in my life to slip away... while i may feel completely void from janices life and unimportant in her life, the mere thought of being apart from her tears me up...
at times i feel like the word relationship is just there for names sake... whats the point in being together if we dont have any effect on each others life? and i say this with much hesitation and hurt, because it pains me to think of not being with janice...
all the frustrations i shared with you (janice), on monday... i was not really pissed off about those things... i just felt so trapped, and what i was really feeling was helpless... helpless that my relationship may be breaking apart in front of my very eyes...
you know i dont blame janice when she complains that i dont call enough... somehow i feel like im at a point where i am deliberately attempting to fuck up my relationship...
its hard being in the office sometime, namely because i always go there feeling so damn fucked up abt my relationship... its like i go out to talk to janice on the phone for an hour, sometimes i come back feeling like crap, and then i put on a facede to the guys in the office, that im the happy go lucky guy....
who knew that love could hurt so much....
janice if you read this, please call me so we can talk it out...
as of late, my relationship with janice would be, what i consider, wierd... or to put it more clearly, distant... everyday, i feel like im one step closer to losing the girl i love, and yet i cat seem to bring myself to care abt it... as always, my mids going crazy, being torn in 2 separate directions...
the feeling of being distant from her comes from the part that i dont feel involved in her life, and how her life is no longer involved in mine... or should i say minimal... to me, i feel like ive grown too accustomed to her being away...
the otherside of me is feeling miserable, and in pain... i dont want this to end, i dont want something this good in my life to slip away... while i may feel completely void from janices life and unimportant in her life, the mere thought of being apart from her tears me up...
at times i feel like the word relationship is just there for names sake... whats the point in being together if we dont have any effect on each others life? and i say this with much hesitation and hurt, because it pains me to think of not being with janice...
all the frustrations i shared with you (janice), on monday... i was not really pissed off about those things... i just felt so trapped, and what i was really feeling was helpless... helpless that my relationship may be breaking apart in front of my very eyes...
you know i dont blame janice when she complains that i dont call enough... somehow i feel like im at a point where i am deliberately attempting to fuck up my relationship...
its hard being in the office sometime, namely because i always go there feeling so damn fucked up abt my relationship... its like i go out to talk to janice on the phone for an hour, sometimes i come back feeling like crap, and then i put on a facede to the guys in the office, that im the happy go lucky guy....
who knew that love could hurt so much....
janice if you read this, please call me so we can talk it out...
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